Birth, Death and the Relationships in between

We were born alone; we are going to die alone. Then why is that we struggle so much to maintain relationships between these two events???

This is a question I keep hearing from people time and again

Do we really need to answer this question? Is it not obvious that we have to live along with others in this world and we cannot live in isolation? – Most of the time this is the answer I get to hear.

But then if we read the question again, it never was about living alone or with others. It is about us trying to give that extra push to maintain relationships in life. Do we really need to do that?

My answer to this is YES. When we were born “alone”, we had some people crying (tears of joy). While dying “alone”, we will have people crying (tears of sorrow). Between these two events, its our turn to cry for those people. For few, it is to thank them for having cried when we were born and for few, to make sure they cry when we die. The choice is ours whether we want "tears of joy" or "tears of sorrow" between Birth and Death.

To love or to be loved???

I asked this question to my brother – which is more important? To love or to be loved??? And he answered very sweetly – if it is for me it’s “to be loved” and if it is for you it’s “to love (Me)”. And he gave a reasoning that everyone wants to be loved as that is something they get and not give. He said that everyone is selfish and wants the best for them, what they give in return is seldom thought about.

This made me wonder if its really true. Because if this was true everyone would want to be loved and no one would be available to love. Then how would one get the love they desire? Does this mean that some of us make the sacrifice and not worry about getting and only give or expect that they would get the love once they give it?

I don’t know which is more important. I hope you know the answer to it.

Smile a day….keeps the doctor away

Way back, when I was in 7^th standard, I was a below average student. All the efforts made by dad to make me better in studies failed. As a last resort he sent me to learn yoga. It was fun. I loved going there and spending my time. By end of the training I had become one of the favorites of my Guruji. But then my guruji knew that once the classes are over I would not put in efforts to practice and would soon forget everything I learnt (which turned out to be true). On the last day he took a promise from me. He wanted me to give away 2 seconds, everyday for the rest of my life, to him. I found the request very strange. But I promised, and asked him what he wanted me to do. The task was as strange as the promise. He informed that different people have different habit and different practices. Every day when one gets up they love to see few things in particular. Few people like to see a picture, of may be a god, family member or anyone else. Few people like looking at others, someone from the family (wife, husband, son, ……). Few like to look at their hands and then there are these other few with strange habits like looking at a currency note. He wanted me to look at myself in the mirror and smile for those 2 seconds everyday as soon as I get up. I agreed. I was too young to understand the impact. Today when I look back, I realize that it did this change my life. In 10^th standard I stood first in a couple of subjects. In my entrance exam for BCA I stood 12 in the entire state. Today I am not scared standing in front of a group and speaking. May be a little nervous but not scared for sure.

What happened in these years that brought in this change? Did that practice do any magic on me? I don’t know if it is the only reason. But I know for sure that it is one of them.

I have been practicing this for the last 15 years and this has become a habit. No matter where I am, even if I am travelling, the minute I get up I have to look at myself and smile. Everyday I start my day with a smile and I believe that smile is the most contagious disease. The moment we see a pleasing smile we land up smiling without knowing about it. And the fever spreads immediately. I ensure I give this virus to myself everyday and consequently give it to everyone in the family. The entire family starts the day with a smile. How can such a start ever go bad? This is what I have believed for a long time now. And this has kept depression far away from me even in the worse times. And also the doctors because how can a happy man fall sick? The chances are low and I have kept doctors away for quite some time.

I have always imaged how beautiful the world would be if every family practices this. Everyday, every family starts the day with a smile…..wow….wouldn’t that be amazing? Anyone coming around anyone looks at a smiling face and there is smile everywhere. I know the dream is way too ambitious. But if my family can do it, why not others? Now does this mean there would be no sadness in the world? No, sadness and pain will always be there. Pressure of family, job, and better life will exist till we human exist. But we can play our part in reducing this pain from our lives.

And as I said this would also keep the doctors away as happy people do not fall sick. So, A smile a day, keeps the doctor away. But then what if the doctor is too cute and has a wonderful smile?? Would we really want to be away from the doctor? For this I would say, A smile, from the cute doctor, a day keeps the medicines away.

Things that make me happy

Someone once asked me what makes me happy and I replied Life. Was I trying to be too smart by giving that answer!!! No. The truth is everything around me brings happiness to me. Let me list a few things that make me feel that I am living life to its fullest.

1. Mom and sister feeding me with their hands regularly –

People find it very strange when they see mom or sis feeding me even though I am not busy. People do ask me – “Are you not old enough to be feed by them like a child?” and I reply that though I am old enough I am still a son and a brother. Though my sister is younger to me, while feeding she becomes my mom and scolds if I do not eat. While this is happening I forget how old I am and only remember that I still have a child in me and they love this child.

2. Dad standing at the foot of the bed and watching me sleep.

Dad has never told verbally that he loves me. But I know that he does. The proof of it is he sneaking into my bedroom and watching me sleep. There have been times when he would talk to me while I am sleeping and express his love. Now you may ask how I know about it if I was sleeping. There have been times when I woke up and pretended to be asleep and there have been times where others have told me about it.

3. Teasing my brother

Oh boy this is the best part of the day. I just enjoy pulling his leg, especially when it comes to the matters of a girl. Every time I do it, he starts blushing and he has this cute smile on his face. That smile makes me feel that my day is complete.

4. Playing with brandy

How can a day pass by without Brandy biting and playing with me!!! It’s her presence and activeness that fills me with energy and makes me want to do more in life. The day doesn’t start well if she does not wish me good morning and gives me a kiss.

5. Looking at a flower

Looking at a flower has always made me happy. I do not know the reason behind it, but every time there is a flower around me I feel calm, confident and positive. Is it the color or the beauty??? I never understood. It’s as if they work on my brain cells and tell me that I am a good person and can do lot more to be a better one. And I am going to work towards it.

While writing this I have realized that the things that really make me happy are all around me. I just have to open my eyes, stretch my arms and I have them. As I said earlier this is just a part of the list of things and there are many more. For now I am not going to struggle to find them as I have found the most important once already. My Family

Spread the fever

Love And Understanding

I got this mail and it made me feel good when i read it and thought people should read it and not miss it......so here it is. A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.

He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail in to the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.

He looked down into the eyes of little boy

‘Mister,’ he said, 'I want to buy one of your puppies.'

'Well,' said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, 'These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.'

The boy dropped his head for a moment.
Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

'I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?'

‘Sure,’ said the farmer.

And with that he let out a whistle.’ Here, Dolly!' he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.
His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring in side the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared this one noticeably smaller.
Down the ramp it slid.
Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.....

'I want that one,' the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy’s side and said, 'Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.'

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said,’ You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands..'

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.
Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

'How much?' asked the little boy. 'No charge,' answered the farmer, ‘there’s no charge for love.'

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.
Let us learn to understand people in our own organizations and families...

Brandy – the bundle of joy

She came, she saw and she conquered our hearts

It’s high time I wrote about the bundle of joy of my life. I call her my friend, my daughter, my reason for happiness.

I got her when she was 6 months old. Thanks to Arundhati for giving her to me. That was the time in my life when I was low and depressed. I needed someone to love me and there she was with all her love for me.

The moment I saw her I went high. She had such a pretty color. I named her Brandy immediately. And there started our journey of fun and joy.

I was alone then and so was she. It was as if we filled each others life, each others emptiness. Every day id come home tired after a days work (or should I say nights work), and even in that tiredness id be exited going home cause I knew that she would be waiting for me. We would play and run all over the place and every day the kid in me used to come out. Her presence was magical. The thought of she waiting removed the tiredness. She has a vacuum cleaner in her that sucked all the tiredness, tensions and everything negative and replaces them with happiness, excitement and joy. It’s been two years now and never has a day been when I have not seen her happy and playful. Even when ill, she is full of energy and ready to play. I keep wondering, where does she get her energy from??? How is that she is always happy??? Or is it that our presence makes her forget all her pains??? Do we have the same effect on her the way she affects us??? There are many questions but no answers. All that I know is together we can never be dull and unhappy. We fill our lives with play and joy. And I am sure we will always do.

Love you Brandy.